PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
