so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
