Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
