I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
