Umm I'm too high to move.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
