he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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