We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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