I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
