id be glad to
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
