he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
