Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
