remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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