Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
