Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
