New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
