..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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