What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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