Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
