the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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