When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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