this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
