Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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