If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
