i will never coherently bang her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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