just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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