i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize