It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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