It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The air taste purple.
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