Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
