If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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