I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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