you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
