sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
