I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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