I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize