If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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