is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
