Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My penis needs a shock collar
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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