My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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