im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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