mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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