i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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