White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
