That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
