is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
