so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
