We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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