I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
