To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
