operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
