Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
