dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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