u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
