i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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