you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
