3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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