You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
