are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
3 2 1 whiskey
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
