so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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