Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
