I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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