dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
