To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
